I never thought your death had an impact on me...
I don't know why...
It may be the past that we had shared once...
along with family, friends, and neighbors...
It may be a fear, that all of my contemporaries,
all that had been a part of me is gone...
It may be compassion,
for you have labored for what you wanted in your life...
compassion, for I have seen
that you seem tired
but catching up...
your last video and pictures say so...
compassion,
that you may not have experienced the love you
wanted...
It may be a regret,
for not letting you
again in my life...
Life is really short..looking at all my pictures...
where am I when you were sad and lonely...
where am I all those years...
I know... but I stopped talking to you...
I never seemed to bother...
the way you look at me on two different occasions...
..when my father and your mom died...
I know, you were the one who defended me for the way my hair looks...
The look that you wanted to hug me...
but then I ignored it and became passive...
I don't even know if I can go and see you for the last time...
I am crying... I was your 'Mie..
I am actually blaming myself for that one more chance...
When you found out we have the same fate in love...
I was dumbfounded by your late sorry...
I laughed it off...
our song 'Count on you to be there, you will forever be important to me.."
..but I never dared to say it to you...
I'm crying but what right do I have...
I was but will never be yours,
as you were but will never be mine...
yet, thank you for those days...
treating me as a fragile one
to be taken care of...
'coz I know you have seen me how I was as a little girl...
we almost grew up together,
five years my senior
you were the one who treated me like my father did...
thank you for the many "duck eggs"...
thank you for serving your people.. you have a good heart...
I'm sorry, too...
~ €mpêråtrïzV
~ Copyright ©EmperatrizV @Sunflower for Emily, 2020 - All Rights Reserved
#prose #death #crying #regret #pain #compassion #countonyou
